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thank you for serving, ben
Ahh, yes, the art of completely taking over everything your boyfriend wears without his permission or even general awareness. It takes skill. It takes tact. It takes unnecessary luxury designer statement pieces.
Don’t worry, I’m here. I live to serve you.
Here are the necessary steps to ensuring no straight female lays a single eyeball on your man this v-day.
cam newton doesn’t cry, i’ve looked.
Last week left us on the cliffhanger of our lives, with the hope that Ben would take Olivia’s rose back and give it to another girl before the ceremony. But now that Beyonce’s dropped a single, I think we as a nation only have so much luck.
Let’s proceed.
Filed under culture
feelings
The day Beyoncé released her first song in over a year.
What is “football”? What is it really tho? Honestly tho? Help tho?
I very much look forward to the Super Bowl every year. And by look forward to the Super Bowl I mean overeating cooler ranch Doritos and ranch dip. Fond memories there every year.
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Valentine’s Day. It’s a joyous, bright pink day. It’s a cold, black pit. It’s a fervent reminder of your love. It’s an aggressive reminder you’re single.
It doesn’t matter if you’re obsessed in love with this holiday or wish it would disappear into a black hole with all of the happy couples–because both parties have one thing in common: YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT LET’S ALL JUST BE STILL FOR A HOT SEC.
started from the bottom now we’re E! News reporters
This is a guest blog post written by Paige M. Skinner from JustPMSing.com. Follow her except don’t follow her on Twitter bc she just got 1K followers and now she’s really full of herself: TWITTER | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK
This post is so on point. I approve this message. Happy Chris Kyle day.
Over the weekend, the news blared horrific details of separate bombings and attacks that killed more than 100 people total in Syria and Nigeria. The Syrian war continues into its 5th year and Islamic extremist groups like ISIS and Boko Haram are only getting worse.
(where am i going with this, is this CNN???) I’m not about to preach that America is the safest country (or a safe country at all), but I do feel comfortable and safe as I reach for the remote to play recorded TV. Sometimes I think about life outside of my bubble and it’s hard. imsry. imdone. butyoushouldthinkaboutthewarinsyria.
Now that I’ve depressed everyone, let’s all gather to watch and laugh at one of our favorite American pastimes, The Bachelor, as Ben and his women seek amor in Mexico.
Filed under culture
And by survived dry January I mean I survived my friends enduring the sober journey. But they had it easy by not drinking — I’M THE SURVIVOR THAT HAD TO DEAL WITH THEM THE WHOLE TIME. I’M THE REAL UNITED STATES TROOPS.
I’m just going to jump right into it, Ben FRUSTRATED ME TO NO END this episode. Marriage is so hard, y’all.
A twin was cut tonight, and don’t fact check me on which one it was in this pic.
Chris Harrison enters the room and announces Ben is no longer in L.A., but is now in the marriage capital of the world, which is apparently Las Vegas,#Houstalantavegas, which is apparently where the twins are from, which is apparently why they’re hot, blonde, and twins.
Ben shares a deep thought in a personal moment with the camera: “People do find love in Vegas”
It's fine I'm fine 