Bachelor Women Have Everything To Gain, Only Dignity To Lose


started from the bottom now we’re E! News reporters

This is a guest blog post written by Paige M. Skinner from Follow her except don’t follow her on Twitter bc she just got 1K followers and now she’s really full of herself: TWITTER | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

This post is so on point. I approve this message. Happy Chris Kyle day.  


Everyone who is butthurt over The Bachelor: sit down.

It seems like every day, all day, all the time, people are complaining about how they can’t believe The Bachelor is still on TV and how it’s anti-feminist and how our generation is doomed because of shows like it.

Listen, sometimes I wonder why it’s still on the air. And I certainly don’t think it’s pro-feminist and every generation is doomed, so literally sit down.

But here’s the thing no one seems to mention: No one is actually taking this show seriously. Chris Harrison? Trust me. He knows it’s a joke. The actual Bachelor? If he wanted to find a wife, he would go to church like the rest of us and pray for a Proverbs 31 woman. And the bachelorettes competing for said bachelor? Hell no, they aren’t taking any of this seriously.

The main argument is that these women give up EVERYTHING to go on a show and compete for one man. This is not true. There are maybe two total women who actual think they will meet their husband. The rest of them? They just want some air time so they can further their personal brand and eventually make a living for being themselves. They either want to start a blog, get a different job, or go on Bachelor in Paradise when it’s all over. And if they find love? Sure, they’ll give it half a year until the media attention dies down and then they can break it off and date someone they actually like.

Also, let’s get this out of the way. All of these women have boyfriend options back home. Notice I didn’t say boyfriends. Instead, boyfriend options. None of these women actually think they have a shot at winning and becoming engaged, so they have a lineup back home. There’s someone standing in the on-deck circle, waiting for their chance to bat (I’m a baseball writer now). And they are waiting patiently while the girl goes on national TV to “find love” aka get wasted in a hot tub and travel the world.

Here’s proof none of these women are taking “finding love” seriously. I’m a journalist.

Exhibit 1: Becca

Her occupation says chiropractic assistant but her outfit choices say fashionista. I follow this chick on Twitter and she hasn’t been to work since Vietnam. I’m sure she was a chiro assist. at some point, but I guarantee she’s pulling an Emily Maynard and working on launching her own fashion/lifestyle blog and possibly a line of boho dresses with her favorite San Diego clothing boutique. Calling it now.

Exhibit 2: Olivia

Listen. We all want a job in entertainment journalism. Yes, Olivia left her job to go on The Bachelor “to find true love,” just like I’m writing this blog even though I don’t care how many Facebook likes it gets (hint: neither are true). We all know she left her news anchor job in Texas to go on The Bachelor, make it far enough to make a name for herself, and then get a job in entertainment journalism. She wants to be Ali Fedotowsky (former contestant, now reporter on E! News).

Exhibit 3: Unemployed girl

I can’t even remember her name, but she couldn’t even have an occupation listed under her name. At least the twins got “Twins.” She literally left nothing to go on this show. Oh, she left her family? Ok. Cool. She’ll be an AdvoCare distributor in no time. Looking at you, Josh Murray.

Screen Shot 2016-02-02 at 5.09.00 PM

Exhibit 4: JoJo

JoJo broke up with her last boyfriend five months ago. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M USUALLY DOING FIVE MONTHS AFTER A BREAKUP: not searching for my husband on national TV, I’ll tell you that much. I’m like well, maybe I’m a lesbian, maybe I should take up knitting, maybe I should kill all men. JoJo wants to dive into a new relationship where the chances of her getting her heart broken again are 27/28 (idk, I’m bad at fractions, but the chances are likely ok) about as much as I want to give up alcohol for a month. She doesn’t. She wants to make it to the top 3 so she can become the next Bachelorette and have her pick of men and then start her own fashion blog.

Exhibit 5: Twins

They just want a residency in Vegas and I can’t blame them and honestly I would go see them because their clog dancing was better than Britney lip-synching. I’m kidding, don’t kill me.

If you like what you read, head to to read more highly intelligent think pieces.

just pmsing


1 Comment

Filed under culture, humor

One response to “Bachelor Women Have Everything To Gain, Only Dignity To Lose

  1. Pingback: The Bachelor Season Finale Ben Higgins: The Biggest Upset Of The Actual Century | It's fine I'm fine

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