Tag Archives: blogging
Who’s looking back at me when I look my figurative blogger mirror??? Who am I really?????????
Oh, I’ll tell you.
Episode 5 & 6 are missing blog recaps. it’s hard.
Truth be told, I still haven’t watched episode five. Which is a shame because that was the episode where Calry and Chris had an awkward sex guru date, and also when they all went to Santa Fe AND SOMEONE THOUGHT NEW MEXICO WAS IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY IT’S FINE I’M FINE I’M NOT FROM NEW MEXICO AT ALL.
I watched episode six, and even blogged about it. Then my computer died. and 80% of the blog was deleted. And i haven’t found a spare 4 hours in my life to dedicate to rewriting that. It’s hard.
And then the producers of ABC are really doing everything they can to kill us by having a special THREE FREAKING HOUR episode of The Bachelor ON THE SABBATH, but more importantly, DURING SNL’S 40TH ANNIVERSARY EPISODE.
MURDER ALL OF US
I watched the special episode and recorded SNL because a friend who gets actually paid to write about The Bachelor needed my cable. But i did not have it in me to blog it. I was le tired. I slept in and napped twice yesterday, but it wasn’t enough sleep to acquire the energy it takes to blog a three hour episode. I just. You know. Sometimes. I just. I can’t. Bye.
I’m getting emotional watching the little mermaid while writing this but I’m going to try to hold it together.
The other day I Instagrammed, asking what you wanted me to blog about and the responses were just ok. Just kidding they were awesome. Some were really funny, and some were potentially offensive to other readers, which is also really funny.
Here’s what you wanted me to blog about:
- Marketing/social media/P.R. tips. I don’t know anything about P.R. writing. I considered offering some social media tips in my recent self-important my job is real blog, but maybe it will be a future blog, or maybe it will just be a one-on-one convo and not a blog who knows.
- Man buns and men in skinny jeans in general. A man buns blog is coming. (Spoiler alert: I’m not into them. Another spoiler alert: I’ve asked like 78 girls their feelings on man buns. Blog research is real).
- How to break it to your extended family that they aren’t the target blog audience. This is a brilliant idea, known to be true by many bloggers I’m sure. While we all cringe knowing our grandmas, aunts, and step-uncles know about our going out habits, we don’t stop blogging about it.
- Why dressing like a poor chic hippy is actually so expensive. Valid point. Why is it so hard to pull off homeless chic? And why do you have to marry into a trust-fund family to afford it? How much to men with man buns spend on hair products?
- Why celiacs hate the gluten free trend. This would be a guest post, by my cousin Judy, who is also a blogger and a mother. She is a mommy blogger. Most mommy bloggers are basic and overly fluffy, but this blog is REAL and hilarious and will offer a nice afternoon blog work break. See here: http://wheresmymilk.wordpress.com.
- A typical day in the life of Augusta. I’m a celebrity and the people want to know what that’s like.
- Sunday fundayz. One time me and two friends accidentally got drunk at a nail salon on a Sunday. Dallas is weird. I should probably get started on more research for this blog and stop everything I’m doing and start brunching???
- My budget. I got impatient and wrote this already.
- My intern. <<<3333
- Embracing rainbows. I don’t know what this means but it sounds sugary.
- Tinder. I actually have only been on one Tinder date and it was boring. I haven’t been on the app for over a year. However, PMS has some great Tinder blogs to quench your ohmygodshedidwhat thirst.
- The epidemic of boudoir photoshoots, pre-weddings. I want to write this blog. I really do. But what about all the white girls out there actually doing this? Will I hurt their feelings? Do I have enough material to write this? How many funny things are there to say about smiling eyes or “smeyes”? You do you I guess?
FuTuRe BLaWgz tO fOLLoW~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Any blogger will admit to feeling the following things. Or they will feel it, but not admit to it. Or I’m the only blogger in the world who feels these things and I’ll die alone.
- I’m embarrassed about 98% of my blogs.
- Self-deprecation (or self-sabotage?) is required.
- Hearing “I’m the biggest creep, I like all of your blogs” never gets old, and it’s not considered “creeping.”
- It’s awkward saying “Thank you” when someone says they love your blog. thanks i love my blog too, i’m rly obsessed with me.
- You don’t forget it when a guy tells you he “fell for you through your writing.” This is not often, because get real, but it happens.
- Asking certain friends (you know, the ones who get it) to read your blog and make sure it’s actually funny before posting it is a common, insecure, and encouraged practice.
- You automatically bond with other people who blog.
- A friend who likes your blog on Facebook is a true friend and many blessings will rain upon them.
- Blogging takes a really really really long time, and then once it’s published, I read it 10 more times.
- I read my old blogs when I can’t sleep. And I laugh. And I cringe. And I go to sleep.
- When a friend you haven’t talked to in months texts you asking for a link to an old blog, it’s like you talked yesterday.
- You don’t want everyone to read your blog (parents, grade-school teachers, mom’s friends, current/potential employers, ex-boyfriends, crushes, gyno, neighbor, cashier at Kroger), but you still somehow want to go viral.
- You’ve thought about contributing to BuzzFeed but it sounds exhausting and if you’re not famous after your numbered list of gifs after the first two attempts, there’s no hope. It’s all rigged. Blame public relations.
- You both put a lot of scrutiny on other bloggers, but also avidly support them, because you get it. youjustgetit.
- All of your friends commonly tell you, “DON’T BLOG OR TWEET THIS,” because you are that girl and you know it.
- You blog and tweet things you know you shouldn’t, whether for the sake of a career or sheer embarrassment but you do anyway, because the story is just that funny.
- You do questionable things solely because “it could be good blog material.”
- Everything inspires a blog post. And by everything, I do mean everything. Literally. Everything.
- You’ll be inspired to blog at inconvenient times. IT’S 11:33 PM BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF A BRILLIANT BLOG AND I CAN’T SLEEP UNTIL IT’S DRAFTED.
- You’ll wrestle with Google Analytics and try to bribe your 46 closest friends with a job in anything remotely-advertising related. (coding is hard help).
- There is no such thing as being satisfied with the design/template/color palette, but your blog ideas can’t wait on your poor design skills to be published.
- You semi live in fear of being sued for using a gif/photo from the internet without properly giving credit. You use the gif/photo anyway.
- A boyfriend isn’t a boyfriend unless he reads every single blog and worships it and you and you writing it.
23 seems like a fitting place to stop. Be on the lookout for a new blog bye.