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thank you for serving, ben
Ahh, yes, the art of completely taking over everything your boyfriend wears without his permission or even general awareness. It takes skill. It takes tact. It takes unnecessary luxury designer statement pieces.
Don’t worry, I’m here. I live to serve you.
Here are the necessary steps to ensuring no straight female lays a single eyeball on your man this v-day.
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Valentine’s Day. It’s a joyous, bright pink day. It’s a cold, black pit. It’s a fervent reminder of your love. It’s an aggressive reminder you’re single.
It doesn’t matter if you’re obsessed in love with this holiday or wish it would disappear into a black hole with all of the happy couples–because both parties have one thing in common: YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. BREATHE IN BREATHE OUT LET’S ALL JUST BE STILL FOR A HOT SEC.