And by survived dry January I mean I survived my friends enduring the sober journey. But they had it easy by not drinking — I’M THE SURVIVOR THAT HAD TO DEAL WITH THEM THE WHOLE TIME. I’M THE REAL UNITED STATES TROOPS.
Monthly Archives: January 2016
The Bachelor Episode 4: Worst Behavior
I’m just going to jump right into it, Ben FRUSTRATED ME TO NO END this episode. Marriage is so hard, y’all.
A twin was cut tonight, and don’t fact check me on which one it was in this pic.
Chris Harrison enters the room and announces Ben is no longer in L.A., but is now in the marriage capital of the world, which is apparently Las Vegas,#Houstalantavegas, which is apparently where the twins are from, which is apparently why they’re hot, blonde, and twins.
Ben shares a deep thought in a personal moment with the camera: “People do find love in Vegas”
Omg YES CHOKERS ARE IN, Y’ALL
“Chokers are WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF” -Lizzie McGquire
Image source: andpop.com
I had to stick up for choker necklaces two times last weekend. Please feel sorry for me. This is because I A) wore one out and B) WENT TO MICHAEL’S AND DIY’D SAID CHOKER BEFORE GOING OUT AND C) Snapchatted the whole ordeal to death and so naturally everyone saw and asked about it and by everyone I mean 2 people.
This blog is my defense for chokers. They’re back and they’re real and this is America and it’s happening.
Filed under style
Reasons Ben Higgins Is Unlovable
Ben said it himself, both on The Bachelorette, vying for Kaitlyn Bristowe, and on this season’s premiere. While Ben did his best to explain his fear of being unlovable for People, I would like to further over-analyze his comment.
Because America deserves to know why Higgins comma Ben is what he says he is.
Because if this face is unlovable, the rest of us should just PUT ROCKS IN OUR ACTUAL POCKETS AND LAY OUR BODIES DOWN IN VICIOUS WATERS, YEAH I SAID IT.
The Bachelor Episode 3: BUT WAIT… THERE’S MORE
The team editing this show is severely underrated. The previews MAKE THE SHOW. The power of editing, cutting, and dramatic music is real. And it’s hilarious.
Also WARNING: I’ve been skimming a Dr. Gary Chapman book called “The 5 Love Languages” so get ready.~*~*~
We open with a scene of Amanda and Lauren B. gossiping, and Olivia talking to the camera. Olivia could afford to be a little more self aware about the fact that “she is in a relationship with Ben” because hi ur not.
Chris harrison enters the living room full of women and comments on the  murderous different energy in the room, before handing over the date card.
The Bachelor Episode 2: I am not crazy
Good morning, I hope you were all prepared for the opening scene of Ben in blue boxers.
First date card
Jackie, LB, Lauren H., Becca, Amber, Mandi, Jojo, Jubilee, Jennifer, Lace.
These girls are *MIND-BLOWN* when their names get called, like they didn’t realize being on The Bachelor meant going on dates.
Filed under culture
The Bachelor Ben H. Episode 1: I am in love with Ben
i was originally going to put my face on the girls but i can’t get enough of ben’s face i’m not sorry
Hi Ben~~~*~*~*~*Â
We open up with Ben in his natural habitat in Warsaw, Indiana, a picturesque small town that is a screensaver on every Dell computer in America. Ben talks in his perfect voice, with his perfect face, about his perfect life, and honest to God why is he on TV looking for love. Like walk into any establishment, anywhere and just point, and you can have anyone.
How did you get here. What does it mean for the rest of us. How do I feel about this.
Filed under culture
Reasons I Really Do Kind Of But Not Want A “Lob”
Who is this girl? Is her name lob? She shows up anywhere you type “lob” I swear and why is her hair perfect who is she what year is it
Here’s the thing: I really want trendy, choppy, effortless, blunt, rolled-out-of-my-actual-bed hair. Just like lob girl above, and every celebrity, and all of your friends.
But I also want long hair. And a million dollars. So you see my problem. Here are my top reasons and general thoughts surrounding why I really do kind of but don’t at all but still do want a lob cut.
It's fine I'm fine 