Who’s looking back at me when I look my figurative blogger mirror??? Who am I really?????????
I started my first blog freshman year of college, and since then I’ve created 4 blogs, and you’re looking at the latest. I tragically tried to be a fashion blogger. I’ve dabbled in recipe posts. And despite hating the show, The Bachelor blog posts have been the most successful. But outside the Monday night commitments, I have to find other things to comment on, other stories to broadcast, and can’t help but notice anything I do cannot be put in a typical blogger bucket. I’m in a weird blogger limbo. Blogger purgatory. Or is it blogger hell???????
10 Things I’m Not Doing That Most Bloggers Are Doing And Crap Should I Be Doing These Things
1. This is not my full-time job lol lol
I have a 9-5 outside IFIF so please click and buy everything you see on here to help change that thanks.
2. I don’t have guest posts
I have yet to find someone other than this B to fit the voice, tone, and personality of this blog??? It doesn’t make sense to have a fashion, fitness, food, or mommy blogger on here so who else is there????? Chelsea Handler will u pls do a guest post help?????????????
3. I don’t network or extend even half ass efforts to engage other bloggers
Speaking of guest posts, I don’t do ANY form of blogger networking. What is blogger networking, you ask. A huge part of it is commenting on other blogs with things like “great post!” with your URL and you know what, that’s time consuming, and I’d love for someone to tell me that promotional method actually bumped their views. And how many comments are you leaving and how much time per day do you spend “networking”???? I don’t even comment on blogs I subscribe to and read daily. Does no one else work?? Question mark?????
4. My social channels are not my blog moniker
I have a twitter, fb, pinterest, tumblr, instagram, snapchat, tumblr, vine, and every other social app millennials have dreamed up, and none of those handles contain the words “it’s fine im fine,” they’re just my name, like a common peasant, so am I even a blogger???????????
5. I don’t Instagram myself in t-shirts that support some cause in Africa
I know you’ve seen this. What is it with girls Instagramming charity t-shirts coupled begging you to order one FOR THE CHILDREN OF AFRICA????? I have never done this so am I even a blogger, I’m not sure. Do the t-shirts really make a difference or do anything, I’m not sure.
6. I don’t post photos of myself at all actually
On that topic, I’m not posting my outfits or begging you to LIKE IT TO KNOW IT. That’s what bloggers do. I’m not doing that. #AmIEvenABlogger #WhoAmIWearing? #UmForever21
7. My Twitter cover photo is not my blog header
Have you noticed every blogger has her calligraphic blog header also as her cover photo on her personal Twitter account?????? Have you noticed I don’t????? Does this mean my blog isn’t real??????????????????????? Do I even blog???? Are these even words published online for people to see??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
8. I don’t have categories like my favorite beauty products, tour of my home, how to be a blogger FAQ, list of other blogs I love, what’s in my bag, etc, etc, etc, etc
There are coins in my bag, but never when I actually need coins for street parking. There are loose Excedrin pills in my bag from when I spilled that bottle that one time, but never when I have a headache. Unless you’re desperate for a tampon, why do you care what’s in my bag? It’s boring. My favorite beauty products are all items I can only afford once in a blue moon and I’m def not about to post a video tutorial because LOL hilarious. I’ve actually taken photos of my bedroom, because I love my bedroom, but I’m about to move into a different apartment because I’m in my mid-twenties in Dallas so LOL hilarious is anyone still reading.
9. My mission statement, or purpose of the blog, doesn’t entail helping you
Have you noticed that in every “about” page, the blogger says she created it to help readers? Help inspire them, dress them, make them prettier, fitter, more efficient, etc, and that’s great, and more power 2 them, but welcome to IFIF, I can do nothing for u, welcome. This blog was created because I think I’m funny, and only my opinion matters, welcome. Congrats for reading, you’re getting nothing out of it, hi. World peace.
10. I don’t ask to be followed on Snapchat. There’s nothing for you there.
You will not see me posting a screenshot of my Snapchat code, or username, and while I follow bloggers there and wonder how creepy is too creepy, the fact is, there is nothing for you on my Snapchat. It’s just close ups of Lane’s face. And brunch.
To conclude this post, I’ve asked PMS to share a blurb about being a blogger so she wrote an actual novel on the subject. Here it is.
Being self-aware as a blogger, by PMS.
Am I funny? Do other people think I’m funny? Is this a humor blog? Just some of the trillions of questions that go through my head before I hit publish on a blog that I don’t really think is funny. But then weeks later, someone will tell me how funny my blog actually is and then I’m forced to think about what I’m trying to do with my blog. Am I trying to make people laugh? Do I want this blog to turn into a job? Do I want to be the next blogger-turned-YouTube star-turned-actual celebrity? Short answer: yes. Long answer: Wait, what, and then how.
Blogging kind of sucks. Like, it’s fun, but then it also kind of sucks. Just when you start to tell yourself that it’s just for fun and it’s just a way for you to occasionally write whenever, however you want, there will be someone who asks you where your next post is. And then you’ll have to form an opinion on something really quick and add in some funny commentary. Then you’ll read your post 12 times before publishing, without smiling once, then you’ll share it on Facebook and Twitter and then someone will subtweet about how offensive it is. Then you’ll be left wondering if you’re cocky because someone is subtweeting or if you’re just really effing self-aware.
Blogging kind of sucks. Yes, self-awareness is key for any blogger and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be blogging on what’s key. Augusta just asked me to write about blogging, which is kind of wide. But if you’re not self-aware, then you’re painfully tragic and people will make fun of you until you die. I would like to think I’m self-aware enough to know there are probably a dozen people out there who read my blog just to make fun of it. Or just to screenshot certain parts and send to their friends to hate on it. Because that’s what I do to other blogs. Because when you’re a fashion blogger telling me to wear a brand that every basic-ass high school girl wears, then yeah, I’m going to mock you. But that’s ok. I realize I’m probably being mocked, too. But that’s also why I don’t call myself a fashion blogger. Or a humor blogger. Or an anything blogger. I would like to think I’m just blogging about myself and my life, so I’m a me blogger. And if you’re gonna make fun of me, that’s ok. I make fun of myself daily. You see? Blogging kind of sucks.
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