I’ve Been Engaged For 51 Days And I Have Thoughts

I know, I can’t believe Lane wants to marry me either. 

Choosing a wedding theme. This is not easy. This is not for the faint of heart. This is really hard, and yet having a theme TRULY determines every big and little aspect of the wedding. I’m not kidding. The food. The Venue. The photography aesthetic. The colors. The veil. The dance floor swag. Yes, the dance floor swag.

Every vendor asks you what your theme is and “words that describe your day.” And honestly, just like MY THEME IS I’M GETTING MARRIED. MY THEME IS I WANT TO MOVE IN WITH LANE. WHAT WEDDING FAVOR DOES THAT TRANSLATE TO. WHAT COLOR IS THAT. MY THEME IS HELP ME.

Am I boho enough to get married???? Every wedding magazine and Pinterest board is so flowy, free, and flower crowny. Is it written in the marriage license that you have to have a boho wedding, what is it. It is the trend that has not died. I feel like girls now have boho weddings even if they don’t dress/act boho in real life, just because that is the look now, and it’s stressful 4 me, is no one else stressed about this, okay. Every wedding tip ever says be true to your style/personality, etc, but when did all our styles become boho beach babe chic amirite.

Which brings me to….

How much unique personality is too much unique personality. I pitched a Save the Date idea to Lane the other day, and told him he could be honest with me about his opinion (IE tell me what I want to hear) and he told me it “might be a little too millennial.”

I handled this very well and very maturely.

So basically how do we balance the line between adding our personal touch without “trying too hard” or just being too flat-out weird, which is an extremely high possibility here hehe. (everyone reading this who knows me is nodding).

It’s a scary gray world between the two extremes of being ourselves and potentially way too weird, and doing something classic and expected, but also just flat out basic. AND THIS IS ME WE’RE TALKING ABOUT, AND I HAVE NO ISSUE BEING CHEESY OR BASIC, SO LET’S JUST PUT THAT ON THE TABLE.

Which of my friends do I hate enough to ask to be my bridesmaids and/or in my bachelorette. I have every intention to fully embrace the ignorance that has become millennial bachelorette parties (maybe not ALL of the ignorance, the matching of the Bachelorette outfits is getting a little out of control), but WOW HOW MUCH DOES IT SUCK FOR THE BRIDE’S 40 BEST FRIENDS??????????

I originally wanted to go to Santa Fe for my bach, but then it became so outrageously expensive after flights, hotels, activities, and hell, these girls are already buying $150-300 dresses. It’s terrifying. And does not even include the potential costs of  hair/make up, day-of robes, wedding gift, and hosting a shower, PLUS ALL THE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE LIKELY INCURRED DEALING WITH THE BRIDE. Literally, bachelorettes easily cost a grand nowadays. I get it’s another one of those things that “it’s just what you do” but wow. just wow. that’s all.

Wedding hashtags. I’m not necessarily FOR or AGAINST them. If I could think of a catchy one, I would use the crap out of it, but guess how many words rhyme with “Rizzardini.” Secretly, I kind of think it’s chic to forego the hashtag, but at the same time, if I think of a really good one, I’m having it written in the sky, u kno.

Wedding dresses. I could write an entire blog post/novel about my wedding dress shopping experiences. But after going to multiple stores, from Neiman’s (most expensive) to LuLu’s Bridal (least expensive), I have one main takeaway: Just about everything comes out be the same price.

HEAR ME OUT.

We found a dress we loved at Neiman’s. I also loved (and was so close to buying) a sample sale dress at Nordstrom’s. At face value, the dresses obviously had drastically different prices, but even these two dresses could have easily stacked up to the same amount.

HERE IS WHY:

+$dress (expensive)
+ $alterations (Neiman’s has a price cap that makes alterations VASTLY cheaper here than other retailers)
+ $veil
+$shoes
=NEIMANS DRESS

 

+$dress (cheap)
+$alterations (the sample sale size is not ordered in your size obviously and it would have reuired massive surgery)
+$belt (was needed here)
+$veil
+$shoes
=NORDSTROM DRESS

You have some wiggle room with what you pay for shoes, veil, and belt, but just the veil and belt alone are easily $1K. Fact. And, BY THE WAY same for alterations. So if I really wanted to buy the ridiculously expensive Neiman’s dress, then go low for accessories/alterations, I promise you it all comes out to the same price as if I had bought the sample sale dress.

MORAL OF THE STORY: BUY THE DRESS YOU TRULY WANT, BECAUSE YOU WILL END UP PAYING STUPID AMOUNTS EITHER WAY HAVE FUN!

The DJ. I have only heard ONE opinion on the DJ from everyone I have asked, from vendors to married friends, and it is basically this: If your DJ hasn’t been a stand up comedian, MTV host, self made composer, with 30 years in the industry then everyone will be so bored they will die at your reception.

And yet. AND YET. I hired a DJ with about only 2 years of experience bc u kno wut, I met him in person, and he seemed gr8, and I can’t go all out in all categories, so I’m sorry, and here we are, and I’m still half-mad at myself for not just having Amazon’s Alexa be the DJ at this point.

“ALEXA, PLAY FORMATION AGAIN.”  -self at my wedding reception

The first look. I could write a thesis on the pros and cons of ~~~The First Look~~~ Lane didn’t want to do it,  but we have been convinced to by literally every single vendor and married friend. We also have 98 people in our wedding party, and the sun sets at 5:46 that day, and so basically Lane is getting 0/1 of his preferences for our wedding. It’s fine he’s fine. However, we are doing it a little differently from the normal FL so just stayed tuned fam.

The whole showing your wedding dress to people before the wedding day thing. I got back and forth on what I believe here. Is it rude when people ask?? Is it normal???? Does it ruin the joy of being surprised day of wedding???? I’ve shown some people the dress??? I’ve also deleted the photos off my phone and I don’t know what to believe anymore????????????????????????????

Heels. I want to have the cute pics of wedding heels — THERE ARE SO MANY CUTE WEDDING HEELS IN THIS WORLD. However, I also want to be as tiny as humanly possible standing next to Lane, and I don’t know how to reconcile those two desires.

Chairs at the reception. I have this weird hang up on chairs. I don’t know why, but I just want pretty chairs, I JUST THINK THEY ARE AN IMPORTANT MAIN FOCAL POINT OF THE WHOLE ROOM OKAY. However more than a couple of my married friends have told me no one remembers the chairs, and they’re an easy cost to avoid. THIS IS SO SOSOSOSOSO HARD 4 ME TO AGREE WITH BUT I’M TRYING TO KIND OF. Everyone pray.

Invitations. Oh boy. This is a big one for me. It has come to my attention that it is standard to drop a cool $2-3K on just wedding invitations. For clarification, this is NOT including save the dates, menus, ceremony programs, thank you cards, or any other print outs. This is just the paper and postage of the invites. And everyone just tacks the standard “It’s just what you do” here.

ok WE AS A NATION CANNOT LET THIS CONTINUE. WE CANNOT STAND FOR THE INJUSTICE. AND I ALREADY KNOW YOUR ARGUMENT. That it’s the “first impression of the wedding,” but im sry BUT WALKING INTO THE WEDDING IS THE ACTUALLY THE FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE WEDDING IDK JUST MY HOT TAKES. WHCIH BRINGS ME BACK TO CHAIRS. I am Augusta future Rizzardini and I approve this message thanks 4 reading.

Losing 10 pounds. I was born 9 pounds and 3 ounces and yet I’m pretty sure the first words out of my mouth were “I want to lose 10 pounds.” I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who didn’t want to lose 10 pounds for their wedding. And if you didn’t, CONGRATS, I AM SO HAPPY 4 U. So I’m trying to actually stick to the Kayla Itsines work outs (not the diet lol calm down) and drink/eat out less and so just pray. Everyone just pray.

Preparing for both a wedding AND a marriage. I realize how truly much more important it is to prepare for the marriage than it is to plan the wedding, I’ve heard of the Timothy Keller books and yes I plan on reading them, but like, I also have a full time job, so choose one, world. Which is it. Wedding, marriage, or job. It’s hard. Did I mention I want 4 kids? Bye!