Every local media outlet has dedicated editors’ lives to finding the city’s best places to eat, drink, shop, play, the best hidden gems only known to locals, best budget-friendly places, family-friendly places, places-your-ex-wont-be-friendly places, all for you, the people, because there’s 1.2 million of you, with another number of people visiting every year, and another number that’s probably in the thousands of you moving here every year, and all of you want to know when, where, what, why, and you want to know it now.
And you can fact check me on those stats.
Well, Dallas, your search is over. Your prayers are answered. The official best things to do list is here and it’s free. But I’m not opposed to accepting your Venmo payment anyway.
Best places to eat in Dallas
Uber rides. Whataburger is open if you are!
Uber Eats. Someone call Shakira because your Uber Eats order is ready Wherever, Whenever.
Desperadoes. It would be remiss of me to not mention the one establishment I go to weekly like it’s my religion.
Ida Claire. Best mac n cheese in Dallas. I once went two nights in a row. Trying to weigh more than 2,017 lbs by 2017!
Chilis. The original Tex Mex!
Ida Claire’s midnight brunch. Get a head start on your brunch plans with friends — BY TWELVE HOURS!!!!!
Ida Claire’s, but in the 1970s van in front of the building.
Your workplace. Undo your work outs with free foods!
Cafe Madrid. You will accidentally spend over $100, BUT THE CULTURE!!!!
Addison Point. If it’s good enough to have a booth at an Addison Food Festival, it’s good enough to order in-between karaoke songs! WANGS!!!!!!!!!!!
Best Places to Accidentally Order 782 Mimosa Carafes in Dallas
Chilis. No mimosas, but hello, have you ever heard of Top Shelf?
Social House Addison
Anywhere that has “social” in its name
A Nail Salon. I prefer the Onyx Nail Bar on Cedar Springs! When I say get your nails done, you say mimosas are free.
BBC. British Beverage Company or Bad Bitch Contest? You decide! Mimosas are literally $2 so goodbye Saturday night plans!
Libertine. I once lost my Raybans here. The mimosa deals ARE REAL!
Your own home. Recipe? Yes please! From what I can remember of my roommate’s recipe last weekend, to you! Below!
- White grape juice
- White wine
- Triple Sec
- Straw and wine glass! IT’S DELISH!
H&G Supply. I’ve never ordered a mimosa here. But there’s a rooftop!
Best Bars in Dallas in Dallas
Your Workplace. Yum! Quarterly party bar!
The Bowen House. It’s tiny. It’s plush. There are mixologists. One of the few places in uptown you could probably wear black lipstick and be considered chic.
Quarter Bar. It’s in uptown, it’s not stuck up, it’s literally the only place my friends and I go!
Henry’s Hidden Bar called Atwater Alley. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, it’s not for girl’s night. Take your boyfriend!
Happiest Hour. I once planned a birthday dinner here, only to learn they don’t take dinner reservations, only to learn we had to go anyway because that’s where my Snapchat geo-filter was, only to learn their apps are basically family meals, only to learn I don’t care anymore. There’s a roof!
6th Street I’m So So Sorry. This place holds a special place in my heart for many reasons. For these unsaid reasons, I rarely go.
1600 Pennsylvania Street. This address exists in Dallas, USA and it’s been a long time dream of mine and my friends’ to visit. If a dream doesn’t scare you, it’s not big enough.
Chilis. Margarita swirls on deck! And don’t forget to get drunk on queso and molten lava cakes.
Marie Reyes’ house
A Beyoncé concert
Sephora. Have you ever heard of Sephora? Magical place where even the SAMPLES are $30!!!!!! Go ahead, buy four Anastasia lip glosses! Sober you will thank drunk you later!!!!
H&M. Have you ever heard of H&M? Fun!
Nicholas Sparks movies at North Park Theatre. No one sees you drunk crying in the dark! Except your friends, who tweeted it, and the fourteen-year-olds who laughed at you while walking out of the theater. Dallas!!!!
Best Things To Do, Sometimes Sober And In The Daylight in Dallas
Group G-Chat. Technology never ceases to amaze me!
Church. AKA, your church’s podcast!
Essie nail bar at Walgreens. The best Essie shopping is when you’re 2 margs deep. Be wary, the new yellow color has glitter in it, yikes, but yay Essie Dallas!!
Love Field Airport. Stick around long enough and you may score some iPhone footage of a shooting!
Start a group text with your friends and all of your boyfriends. And text in it every hour! It’s fun, they love it!
The Baylor Gynecologist center. They’re experts! I love my gyno so much, she could end up being a bridesmaid! Or a wife! DALLAS!
Chilis in the Love Field Airport. YES, they’re in the airport, too!!!!!!!!!!! Dallas has everything!!
Watch Reign on Netflix. CW teen historical dramas are basically masters history classes!! Only Dallas could offer this kind of education!
The Bible Museum. I went once. Hashtag IG MOMENT!
Your gym, doing a Kayla Itsines work out. You won’t be able to walk afterwards, but you have segways in Dallas!
Watch Kylie Jenner snapchats full volume at your Starbucks. IS THAT TYGA???
Re-enact the JFK assassination. Murder someone.
Read The Other Boleyn Girl. WHAT’S UP 2006 WHAT’S UP DALLAS!!!!!
Watch The Other Boleyn Girl movie. Scar Jo without makeup!!!!
Start reading the Other Queen. SPOILER ALERT, IT’S MARY QUEEN OF SCOTS! IN DALLAS!
Argue with your friends about whether Mary Tudor was a real queen or not (she was) but everyone wins when you’re in Dallas!
Dye your hair platinum. Join the cult! Join it now. Now.
Best Places to Shop, Sometimes Sober And In The Daylight in Dallas
Your workplace, online, free shipping at Nordstrom.
Uber rides. Nordstrom has an app.
Katy Trail Ice House. Free dogs everywhere!
Milk-in-Honey. Is the back room sales or last calls, who cares!
Highland Park Village. There’s a Mi Cocina Mambo Taxi with your name on it! But that’s it because it’s the only item here under $1,200.
Bill’s Records. I’ve basically stopped listening to records. BUT LOVE BUYING THEM!!
Tom Thumb. They have a savings program, y’all! And gas points! Spend smart in Dallas.
Buffalo Exchange. Buy really chic, too small hand-me-down luxury items on discount!!!
Dallas Apartment Instagram Accounts. It’s called virtual window shopping! If you were a real millionaire, not a 30K one!
Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Your boyfriend needs to spend $120 on pillow cases and you know it! Dallas can help.
skyline image via: blog.stephenmasker.com