Hi it’s me. I blog about The Bachelor, missing some episodes because sometimes I have to have a life outside the show, and then blog even more sporadically throughout the rest of the year, not even touching The Bachelorette, because I’m not paid to do this guys.
So it’s about that time to start preparing for that time of year again. Like I said, I don’t watch The Bachelorette, so I always come in with a clean slate opinion of the The Bachelor.
All I know about Ben Higgins is that he is 6’4″ so I get why everyone is in love with him. He also kind of looks like a Ken Barbie. And by Ken Barbie, I don’t mean a human version of a barbie doll, I mean he looks like a fake, plastic, life-sized Barbie doll.

what the hell is this
Ok so I rly just want to dive into a preview of the women who knowingly applied to have TV producers choose their life partner on national, edited television. Since ain’t no one got time for 28 contestants, I’m going to use my highly sensitive basic radar, badar, to present the most basic of the contestants. This is fun being judgemental is fun here we go.

Amanda, 25, esthetician, Rancho Santa Margarita, CA
Her favorite movie is The Notebook. So like.. đ …Â Â I remember 8th grade, it was great. I read the book and everything. Can this not be ur favorite movie at age 25 in 2015 tho??????
On that note, she’s 25, and is already getting botox. Is that normal?????? That can’t be normal. Don’t tell me that’s normal. I’m 25 in April.

holy god there are 22 year old twins on this show from Vegas, so we’re living in reality TV heaven
Emily and Haley.
Guess what guys, Emily’s favorite movie is also The Notebook. She may not be entirely basic, but she’s 22 so there’s already no hope for her. (im sry but i was hot mess express at 22 and i cant imagine there being national televised recordings of this age let’s pray for them)
I guess I just don’t understand how this works. They’re competing for the same guy???? Are they aware of this?????????? Do they like being on good terms with each other or like what is their mission here?????????????????????
Haley made it to the DC semi-finals so. How much do you bet me she does spontaneous dance routines during this season and or takes videos of herself dancing and posts it to fb.

OH MY GOD EVERYONE’S FAVORITE MOVIE IS THE NOTEBOOK HELP ME JESUS
Other than “Izzy’s” choice in movies, she also has a unique spin on books too.
Observe:
What is your all-time favorite book and why? Honestly, I donât love to read, but I did enjoy reading the first 150 pages or 50 Shades of Grey. Then I just saw the movie.
i’m done.

her name is Jubilee
I am trying to ignore the fact that her favorite movie is also The Notebook.
I find this quote however a little disturbing:
Will you go on roller coasters or other rides? If Ben kisses me first, I will consider risking my life đ
No. Stop. Why. Can’t.
She’s also anemic and probably going to pass out on the show and I already feel bad for putting her in this blog post over it, so everyone deal.

there are FOUR Laurens this season. HAHAHA. this one is the most basic.Â
Enter Lauren H. It’s not even so much that she’s basic but her answers are just so cringey. i made that word up but you get the idea.Â
Here:
If you could go anywhere in the U.S., where would you go and why? California â because thatâs where The Bachelor mansion is. đ
If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be and why? Chris Harrison, because his job seems pretty amazing.
Like BE SERIOUS, LAUREN H., AMERICA IS TRYING TO GET TO KNOW YOU. I feel like she is the girl that changes herself to be what the guy likes. If he likes country, she wears boots too. If he likes the color orange, she does too. EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T. im mad.
A run down of The Laurens.
- Lauren R.: My favorite, least basic, she admits she loves the notebook, but also admits it’s cliche, and wants to eat lunch with Jesus and Michaelangelo, which is refreshing.
- Lauren B.: Kind of forgettable bio, but maybe she’ll win me over.
- “LB”: (ANOTHER LAUREN B, OMG, I’M IN BLOGGER HELL) She is a fashion blogger so probs has rly chic taste. And her favorite music is rap so I guess I just have a lot of questions for her.

Tiara, an extremely pretty “chicken enthusiast” so we have to kill her
ARE THE PRODUCERS TRYING TO KILL ME? HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS ALSO THE NOTEBOOK HOLY HELL IS THIS REAL
She might have had a shot at being a normal contestant, except she says the word “chicken” 4 times in her bio so I’m done with her forever and my answer is no. to everything.
And oh hello girl from Dallas!! How long does it take my journo friend PMS to interview her.
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