I’m Not Having An Identity Crisis, I’ve Just Changed My IG Bio Two Thousand Times

I’ve changed my bio at least three times this year.

During maternity leave, I changed my bio to “just started real housewives beverly hills AMA.” (This of course before I learned the correct way to refer to the franchise is with the proper acro’s, RHOBH. And I cannot remember my bio, or life in general, before maternity leave.)

A couple weeks ago I changed it to “richardson fashion blogger.” I thought that was a real hoot.

A few days ago I changed it to “ariana grande fan account.” Another hoot.

I hate myself for writing about bios. Know that I do. But I have to believe most people on Instagram take a hard look at their bio every now and then and slide into a casual downward spiral about their elevator pitch, who they are, and what they want people to know.

Right?! Or just me!!!???????? ha ha!

This of course shant apply to those who have outsmarted technology and don’t have bios at all, and also don’t post, and also don’t even have accounts. This post shant be targeted to this group.

I categorize bios as follows.

IG BIOS #1: The Demographics

okay this example is close enough you get it

This bio basically reads as standard targeting demographics. Just make your bio, “caucasian woman 25-34” and get it over with.

IG BIOS #2: The Dog Moms

Listen, I don’t hate on the dog moms. I made my Facebook bio “purse mom” in college, a nod to my fellow dog moms. The bio is still there to this day. I, too, am dog mom.

IG BIOS #3: Location Pride

Where are you from and where are you now. Both explain who you are as a person. Both define your personality and your content. Both help others stereotype you based on the location. Texas you say? Yee Haw cowboy.

IG BIOS #4: The Call To Action bio

queen lisa can do no wrong i love her

Hustlin’ 4 a Livin. Seriel entrepreneur vibes. Like follow subscribe, but also BUY everything I’m selling/doing, thanx.

IG BIOS #5: Every Member of My Family’s Name And Birthday

Married 1/20/18. Cookies 2/18/2018. Ruby 4/7/2020. Brisket 7/15/20.

I can’t tell you how thankful I’ve been for these detailed bios in a pinch when I forget a child’s name or birthday.

IG BIOS #6. Just the Job Title

This is exclusively for people with cool jobs. Pilots. Photographers. Designers. ESPECIALLY founders and CEOs, wow, it’s actually a requirement in your job description to put in your bio if you’re a founder or CEO, even if it’s just of your blogspot. You’ll notice accountants don’t do this.

IG BIOS #7: The Passions

Believer. Holistic Wellness. Essential oils. Cupcakes.

This bio is respectable because it usually explains the purpose of the account. Or it doesn’t.

IG BIOS #8: The Quotes

every episode of the office

Insert inspiring or funny quote here. Everyone loves a quote.


Okay, like, I know I just wrote a whole blog post about bios, but don’t overthink the bio. Underthink it. In fact, try to under-think as much as you can in life!!!!!!!

Thank you for reading my DUM thots on bios. Wishing u all a safe n happy thanksgiving. bye!

PS! homelessness in dallas has drastically increased since COVID and orgs like OurCalling do a lot to help. I used to volunteer with this org, they’re legit. See how you can help.


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