IG Q&A: Your Questions About Pregnancy Stuff

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photoshop idea by KT Johnson, future mrs. harmon, all my jokes are stolen from friends!

I posted a “Ask Me A Question” on IG because apparently I think people have questions for me.

And I wrote out answers on a long flight from Maui to Dallas (I also wrote out a Maui bbmoon recap — next post!). I am 27 weeks pregnant tomorrow, which is the start of the third trimester according to an infographic I saw on Pinterest, but your app may say it’s the last week of the 2nd trimester.

Here we go! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

“I’m 17 weeks pregnant! Yay 3rd trimester! How the f*** did you survive that long flight????”

I love this question because it uses the F word and brings up a great topic: PEEING 2-3 TIMES AN HOUR ON AN AIRPLANE. No, I’m honestly dead serious about peeing 2-3 times per hour. This is not a drill.

First, CONGRATS ON 17 WEEKS PREGNANT! I hope you are out of first trimester nausea/fatigue stage.

We had a stop in Oakland on our way to Maui, so it was broken up a little. I think that helped because both flights were honestly very easy for me, mostly because there were tons of open seats and Lane and I always had our own row. We did early bird check in, so were able to board with group A and sit near the front of the plane, AKA near the bathroom, AKA I had to ask the flight attendant if I could get up and use the bathroom at take off because mam, I am 6 months pregnant, and can physically not hold it.

She said I could go any time, and offered me the 2nd bathroom in the back of the plane! I need all of the bathrooms at the exact same time, thanks everyone!!!

I should also note that I am a very easy flyer. I do not get in-flight anxiety. If anything, I’m more calm on airplanes because no one can reach me lol! Like I thought flying to Rome was easy, so the flight to Hawaii was even more so.

I can’t help it I’m perfect next question.

“Do you miss wine?”

“I’m curious about your journey being sober for this long. Have you ever gone without alcohol for this much time previously? Do you miss it? Will you use formula so you can drink again? Or will you stay sober while breastfeeding? Inquiring minds would like to know.”

I love this question because it’s unabashedly curious. I have probably never gone this long without alcohol since I started drinking in college. I can’t remember a 6-7 month stretch of time I didn’t have at least 1 drink. But I have gone this long without hangovers before if that counts hehe??????

Do I miss alcohol? No and yes. No, because I’ve been strongly averted to wine — very unlike me, as wine is my typical poison of choice. But yes, because when I “miss” alcohol, it’s more out of the social aspect, ritual or tradition of it: Like wanting a wine on Thanksgiving Day because that’s what you do. Or a marg with friends at Desperado’s or MiCo, because that’s what you do.

When I find myself hankering for a beer or marg, I realize it’s because I crave tangy, crisp beverages, the same reason I’ve been sucking down cranberry juice, cherry limemades and Diet Cokes the past 6 months. The same reason I had 827 virgin pina coladas in Maui lol.

But I can honestly say I don’t miss being drunk or feeling disgusting.

Overall, it’s surprised me how easy it’s been to not drink or not want alcohol. Shocking. I think I’ve sipped Lane’s beer on two occasions since getting pregnant, and have been completely content with cranberry juice and sonic drinks.

I hope to do everything I possibly can to breastfeed, although my sentiments towards breastfeeding are generally the same as getting pregnant: we can try everything in our power to control an outcome, but it’s in ultimately God’s hands.

I’ve read that 1-2 drinks will work its way out of your bloodstream after a few hours so there isn’t a need to pump and dump if you can restrain yourself. I plan on asking my doctors about that and reading more. Ultimately I think it will be easier to just accept the new reality that I’ll have to drink less amounts, less frequently than life pre-baby/toddlerhood.

This is a season of life, it’s not forever. I’m too grateful to be in this season than to worry about alcohol. And I’m still a blasty blast when sober, fam!!!!!!!!!!!

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im just upset bc i tried so hard to find the miranda hobbs quote “everyone has their own path in life” but i cant so this will have to do

EDITOR’S NOTE: Everyone has their own path in life, every mom is on her own pregnant journey, some drink weekly throughout pregnancy and nursing and have perfectly healthy babies, I fully believe in a mother’s intuition and that every mom knows her own body and baby best. Thanks for listening to my TEDTALK etc. 

“What is your favorite thing about being pregnant? Least favorite?”

Trying to think of a favorite thing is hard, but I guess just imagining, day dreaming about what baby will be like. When I lay down and focus on the baby, feel it moving, I get like a rush of a happy feeling, and then I feel thirsty. I think I once read that is what releasing the oxytocin hormone feels like? It’s a very odd chemical reactiony feeling to articulate.

Least favorite is the FOMO. I’m Enneagram type 7, so I actually do die of FOMO more than other types. Social events, inability to travel, the 1-3 month “lock down” period right before through right after having a baby… I once dreamt I missed my own baby’s birth, so the FOMO is real.

“What’s your worst symptom so far?”

I can’t decide if first trimester fatigue or nausea was worse. Probably nausea. Every meal was an ordeal. Feeding myself was hard but not eating was also hard. Feel sorry for us pregnant guls!

“Has anyone touched your belly without permission?”

NO LOL BECAUSE THEY’RE TOO BUSY TELLING ME I DON’T LOOK PREGNANT UPSIDE DOWN SMILEY. I hate myself because I’m guilty of doing this to other pregnant women, even though I know it’s so frowned upon.

I do think I look very pregnant now so we’ll see if this starts happening. I’ve literally been telling people a genuine “thank you!!!!” when they acknowledge my bump. Help.

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“What’s your #1 desired registry item?”

THE UPPABABY STROLLER AND CARSEAT!!! I did so much stroller research and my hopes are 100% through the roof on this stroller. Expectations are v high, what could go wrong!!!!!!!

I hope to use to for all of the babies, maybe even 3 at once, because yes that is a possibility. I’m selling my car and only driving the UB around town, in the mall, on the highway, moving forward.

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“What scares you the most about being pregnant or having a baby?”

I think all women are scared of unknowns and complications that could happen during pregnancy. Even when you get the results of gender or genetic tests, there’s always room for error. Test results can be somewhat unknown.

It’s a constant refining process of completely letting go and giving everything to God. Everything is just so out of control. Since getting married two years ago, so many extreme, uncontrollable, random life events have happened in a short amount of time. The recent years (plus honestly just being a laid back person in general) has helped prepare me for this season, I think.

There were times in first trimester when I would start to go down these dark mental rabbit holes of fear, and I would literally have to snap myself out of it and say, “THERE IS NO REASON OR CAUSE FOR THIS FEELING OTHER THAN IRRATIONAL FEAR,” or something to that effect.

I would basically tell myself to save the panic button or downward spiral for later, when it’s actually warranted. It was easier to tell myself to postpone the anxiety, lol, then to ~SiMplY JuSt StOp~ if that makes sense.

I can get very overwhelmed by all the things I want to read, learn, do, and consume before having a baby or raising a child, but I remind myself that I have everything I need in the Bible and community and God will provide the rest as needs arise.

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My sister gifted me the book A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Killer, saying Psalm 23 really got her through her three pregnancies and births. The author literally becomes a Shepherd and talks about what it’s like, gleaning insights into the character of Sheep and their relationship with their Shepherd, AKA humans and God. I haven’t finished it, but what a great book reco for needing to remember who our one true protector is.

“Have you peed your pants yet?”

Not that I know of!!!!

“More pregnant content #liveitup”
“TELL ME EVERYTHING BABY RELATED!!!!”
“All!!!!”

THANK U LADIES FOR UR SUPPORT. Here are some topics I’ve been asked over the months that may be worth sharing with the class.

HOW LANE IS DOING

Lane is truly my hero. His attitude and support during this whole pregnancy has been everything. He goes to every doctor appt with me and talks about looking forward to times when he is alone with baby (getting to try out his dad skillz without my help). He is reading a book called Expectant Fathers, he is getting involved with other dads at our church, he has an app called Daddy Up to track baby’s weekly updates, he helped his Dad build the crib, dresser, and replace the bath and tub in the nursery, and one time he went to Walgreens at 4am to buy a thermometer for me when I had the flu.

I think it really helps that Lane is a few years older than me and his friends are in a dad life stage too. I think having friends who are also parents is key to embracing all the changes, not feeling like we’re being deprived, and just feeling supported in general.

HOW I’M DOING

Honestly, great. I feel bad saying how great I feel. Since second tri started, I haven’t been had any crazy fatigue or nausea. I haven’t experienced most of the symptoms I read about on my weekly app updates. I’m truly my normal self, but hungrier. I feel v thankful.

NO, WE ARE STILL NOT FINDING OUT THE GENDER

I still get asked this a lot surprisingly? We’ve made it almost 7 months, so there’s no turning this ship around now.

BUT I THINK IT’S A BOY

I have had 5 dreams that it’s a girl, but I feel so strongly that it’s a boy to the point where I just refer to the baby as our selected boy name. Lane is doing this too now.

However almost everyone I know feels like it’s a girl. Of course I eventually want both genders anyway, and we only care that the baby is healthy, happy, and doesn’t become a Packers fan! (That last part is from Lane).

I met an Irish woman in Maui and she said no one finds out their baby’s gender there, unless they have a specific medical need to. So I am v v v European and please never forget it.

NURSERY PROGRESS

The crib and dresser we bought are white. My initial urge was to buy black, and I should have listened to myself. I asked my friends for their input and they said white, to which I was like you’re right, that’s safe, because it’s a baby, not a funeral, but then one of my fave chic bloggers bought MY EXACT CRIB IN BLACK. Also, after seeing the art I bought next to the white furniture, I think black would have looked better with it.

I actually wanted the furniture to just be like a traditional antique dark wood, but that wasn’t an option in the crib I wanted. Feel sorry for me!

The shaggy rug is also white—which I realized after my Black Friday shopping blackout may have been a very stupid color purchase????? Prayers??????

We really really wanted to do floral wallpaper (okay fine—ME MYSELF AND I wanted to) but our ceilings are so tall that the cost would have been outrageous. Fortunately the current wall color is pretty good, like light bluish gray, so we are just leaving walls as is.

WHAT ALL I’VE BOUGHT

A ridiculous gold mirror that looks like it belongs in a Renaissance English castle and vintage floral art I bought on FB marketplace. I also have an inconveniently large piece of art from Juniper Art that I originally bought for our living room before finding something else. I’m not sure how well it ~goes~ with anything else. It’s floral, but modern. I’m considering selling it.

Like I’ve said, I really just want this to be “a beautiful room that happens to have a crib,” and not necessarily a themed nursery. I think if I have a boy, I’ll add more sailboat art and some ballerina things for a girl. I may wait to buy curtains until I know the gender, or I might just buy gold and get it over with.

In my head, our nursery continues to be a nursery and the baby will get older, bigger, and move into another room, where gender & decor preferences (Sports? Unicorns?) can rly shine for this little bb.

Lane bought me a very chic diaper backpack for Christmas! It’s pink! Because regardless of baby’s gender, I am a gul, and I wanted pink!!!

TLDR: I’m apparently going to raise a very chic, metrosexual boy with impeccable interior design taste!!!!!!!!!!!! His future wife is super welcome!!!!!!

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BB REGISTRY

There are basically two approaches you can take with baby registries: 1) add every single item you will need for the next year or 2) add only newborn items or very selective “first year” items.

I lean towards the ladder. I did tons of “minimalist registry” research lol AMA.

Mainly because since we aren’t finding out gender, I didn’t want to register for a ton of gray clothes and toys. Secondly, the mommy black market is no freaking joke. Not only has my sister given me so much—breast milk storage bags, a Dock-a-tot, boppy pillow, boppy lounger—but another friend has given me an infant swing, and I bought a Bob jogging stroller from a stranger (normally $500) for just $50.

Lastly, the older I get, the more sensitive and anxiety-prone I am around clutter so quite frankly I just flat out don’t want a never ending pile of Things We Won’t Use For 6 More Months. If I had a 2 story home or bigger garage, maybe I would feel differently. We registered for gift cards and plan to use them as things are needed!

Although, a couple mom friends saw my registry before shower invites went out and strongly urged me to add more things so I guess I’m somewhere in between the minimalist and Need All Things registries.

I registered literally everywhere and then ultimately only put items on Amazon and Buy Buy Baby. I was going to do Babylist but I wanted the completion discounts, diaper funds, and easier return policies on sticking to brand registries. So many people love Babylist, and returns there are probably easy too, so like ignore me.

I am considering doing a blog post dedicated to registry stuff so itsfinefine.com is a mommy blog now and it’s fine ur fine. I personally can’t get enough blogs or podcasts on the topic, help.

You can view my reggies here: BUY BUY BABY & AMAZON

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O I COULD DEF STYLE THE CRAP OUT OF THIS AND MAKE IT CHIC

THE BASSINET CONUNDROM

This stems from a poll I put on IG asking moms if the purchase is worth it. The romantic in me really wanted that quintessential frilly white bassinet straight from the civil war era. I also posted in a FB Mommy group and did lots of research.

After multiple focus groups I decided the baby will sleep in its crib next to our bed. Our bedroom is big enough to fit a crib, so it’s “one less transition” to worry about, as one mom put it. I really only care that it sleeps near me for the first however many months.

We also registered for a Pack N Play and Uppababy stroller bassinet, both of which can be used for sleeping. So like it will be fine.

AM I SCARED OF BIRTH?

No! I work in advertising!

Ha ha, but really, honestly, no. I’m shocked to hear myself say that, because I was terrified of birth FOR. YEARS. Like basically my whole life until I got pregnant, it seems. I think it’s just because by now I know so many women who’ve done it and have had positive experiences, I just know it will be okay. Women be doing this since beginning of time. I once dreamed that it was a super easy one-push birth (and yes, a girl).

But also ask me in 3 months ya kno!!! Feelings subj to change!!!

“Bring back bachelor recaps!!”

TY4 ur support!!!!!

But unless I have a random Monday night where all the stars align and I decide to watch and write, I’m not bringing back the commitment, time, and dedication it takes to recap a season until IFIF is monetized.

I’m a brat! Like, comment, subscribe, click and share with all ur friends! Follow IFIF on IG!!!

When my pageviews increase, I can negotiate brand deals! Then I can quit my job and move to an island to sell ice cream and become a blogger and commit 4 hours every Monday night of the year and sell my soul to Chris Harrison, which I would love to do, tbh!!!!!!!!

If you enjoyed reading, please subscribe to my blog! The next post will be a Maui bbmoon reap!

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