nope
and by 3 days i mean 2.5
Wikipedia:
Dry January is a custom of abstaining from alcohol for the month of January, particularly practised in the United Kingdom.
Well NO WONDER BREXIT HAPPENED AM I RIGHT PEOPLE.
You’re probably wondering, well Augusta, no one forced you to do dry January, and to you I would say you’re right. In fact, I had no intentions of ever embarking the unbearable journey. In fact, I had intentions to tackle this month as “Damp January,” meaning I would only drink if there was a special occasion.
That went well.
Special occasions January 2017:
- Best friend came to visit Dallas
- Two years dating anniversary
- Reunite with friends I hadn’t seen since 2016
- Company winter party
- Work happy hour
- Spent the day babysitting two boys
- I’m tired
- I found champagne
As you can see, Damp January actually did not go well for me.
THUS began the last weekend of January. I said to myself, I said I’m not going to drink this weekend. I said I’m starting Dry January because I am someone who accomplishes things, I am an over achiever, workaholic, I’m the wolf of Wall Street.
THIS IS WHAT NOT DRINKING 2.5 DAYS LOOKS LIKE
DRY JANUARY DAY ONE, FRIDAY JANUARY 27, 2017
good behavior
I left work. I went to the gym. My sad non-happy hour drinking reflection stared back at me in the mirrored walls. I worked out kind of. I left gym. I went to Urban Taco with Lane. I did not order a marg. I stared at the girl in the reflection of my appetizer tortilla soup. She stared back at me, sad to not have a marg in her hand. Lane and I went to La La Land. I did not order wine. I stared at my reflection in my diet coke. The girl staring back at me said this is way unhealthier than red wine. I said who am I. Lane didn’t drink either this night, to support me, because he is a Saint.
DRY JANUARY DAY TWO, SATURDAY JANUARY 28, 2017
I woke up. The world was gray. But I wasn’t hungover. Lane and I went to brunch. I did not order a mimosa. What do I win. The world was gray.
hopping out of bed without a hangover
That night, Lane was supposed to have a guy’s night with his friends. I planned on staying at my apartment to watch GIRLS and eat Halo Top. Instead, Lane was done hanging out with his friends by like 8, and I was like okay I’m coming over but I’m not clingy. We did not buy wine like we normally would have. I’m a nun?????? Resisting wine on a Saturday night at home??????? I work in a home office of mahogany and fine leathers????????????????????
DRY JANUARY DAY THREE, SUNDAY JANUARY 29, 2017
welp this is my life now, this is my new normal, day three, here we go
I had nursery duty at my church. I survived 15 toddlers. Then, in a bizarre turn of events I don’t fully know how to explain, Lane and I went to a dinosaur theme park for children. Idk. Animatronic dinosaurs filled Fair Park, tour guides involved. Lane loves dinosaurs. **THERE WAS NO ALCOHOL BEING SERVED AT THIS EVENT, NOT THAT I CHECKED**
Then afterwards, things may have gone south. We may have gone to a pizza restaurant and I may have accidentally ordered a draft beer and I may have accidentally drank it all. And then another.
Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.
Glad to say I mostly accomplished what I set out to do. I feel grateful to be where I am, couldn’t have done it without my fans, if ur dreams don’t scare u, they aren’t big enough.
It's fine I'm fine 