Are you okay?

Happy President’s Day, where is your face?

Today, many offices around the United States were shut down in honor of President’s Day. My workplace blessed us with a half-off day, meaning we all had the option to leave at lunch, assuming deadlines were met blahblahblah.

It is on short, client-meetingless days like these that Iike to do this rare, oft-forgotten ritual I like to call “not wear make up.”

I went to work without make up.

I walked into an office building in downtown Dallas without my face.

I entered the place where I spend 90% of my time, surrounded by people who see me the most, sans facial beauty products.

.028 of a second after walking into the office, like I had not even put my purse down, someone saw me and said, “Oh, Augusta. Are you okay?”

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I AM WITHOUT MAKE UP, IT’S NOT LIKE I SHAVED MY HEAD???

Another time when I didn’t wear make up to work, a couple months back, someone asked me if I wasn’t wearing glasses that day.

I DON’T WEAR GLASSES Y’ALL. LOL. LIKE I’M LAUGHING OUT LOUD IN MY MIND REALLY LOUD.

and YOU KNOW WHAT. MY “MAKE UP-LESS” LOOK ACTUALLY INVOLVES MAKE UP. Like, I did not wake up like this. I STILL woke up and put effort into my face, but that’s not enough for the society we live in. And if you read that sentence and took it seriously when I dropped the “society” bomb, stop. This is not an ambitious post about feminism, everyone keep your bras on.

My no-make up make up

And because I can’t think of a worse time to blog about what make up I wear, here is where I include what make up I wear. does anyone care. is this a fashion blog now.

1. I wear fairest shade of Christian Dior foundation, also known as shade 010, because I’m literally the human reincarnation of a delicate flower. 2. I’m a die hard fan of Bobbi Brown’s medium #2 bronzer. It’s everything. 3. I recently threw out my Walgreen’s face powder, switched to big girl powder, and developed a big lesbian crush on Laura Mercier’s french ass powder, including the brush it came with, which by the way, was about the price of in-state college tuition, but it’s fine, I make an entry level salary and I’m a 30K millionaire, and I will have a fucking flawless face. Sorry mom.

4. I also use a light eye brow pencil, and it’s not the brand that’s listed above because I’m a liar. I don’t know what brand my pencil is. But it’s just a pencil, does the brand even matter. JUST DRAW ON YOUR FREAKING EYEBROWS, OKAY? EVERYONE NEEDS IT.

EVERYONE.

Anyways.

I also like to work as fast and furiously as I can on half days, so I can get everything done with in hopes of making it a quarter day. So about an hour later, I’m in deep-focus mode, headphones in hears, tunnel vision to computer, and a coworker stops me to ask if I’m okay. A second person.

HONEST TO GOD. #HTG

To give a little context, I can see why said genuinely nice person asked me if I was okay. My eyes are watery and I’m sniffely/sneezey from God knows what undiagnosed allergies I have. It actually looks like I’ve been sobbing today.  That, PLUS sans make up, and I’m wearing an oversized sweater, oh, and my hair is in a man bun. Like I’m not a girl, not yet a woman, but I have absolute 23-year-old man bun hair.

Swear to the Father in heaven that this is what I looked like at my work desk today.

Because it’s a holiday in America and God bless our troops and it’s my half day, I’ll freaking man-bun if I want to.

In addition, my voice is hoarse. So it’s not enough for me to just look like a man, I also sound like a man. I really commit myself to half-days. Thnk u 4 reading, I’m going to go enjoy my what’s left of my half day now.