IS EL NIÑO A DRUG LORD OR A HURRICANE????
I recently turned 25. We all know 25 is a youthful number and no one has any reason to complain about being 25. 25 is great.
With that said, HOLY HELL I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY ABOUT BEING 25 AND I DON’T EVEN NORMALLY GET ANXIETY SO I’M NOT EVEN FULLY CONFIDENT THAT WHAT I’M EXPERIENCING IS ANXIETY SOMEONE SEND ME YOUR PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN’S NUMBER IT’S FINE I’M FINE
~i am calm~
But seriously I’ve been asking other recently-turned 25-year-olds if they experienced this sudden wave of panic when they crossed over to the other side of the decade. All of them said no. Even my anxiety-prone friends said no. And I was like oh.
So let’s over-analyze this together shall we.
My main source of panic about being 25 is this: I feel like I should already know things that I do not know. So like, while most 25-year-olds are worried they should be getting married, owning a house, or having babies right now, I’m perfectly content being un-married, baby-less, and paying apartment rent. It’s the great life questions like “HOW DID JFK’S OLDEST SISTER DIE????” and “IS EL NIÑO A DRUG LORD OR A HURRICANE????” that keep me up at night.
I just feel like you can get away with ignorance all the way up until even 24, but once you hit that middle of the decade mark, YOU HAVE TO KNOW SH!T. Thatsjustwhatifeellike.
Here are moments that have happened within the past week that raised a “you should know that, you’re 25” flag in my head.
It’s tragic. Enjoy.
“I’m 25, I should know what a transfer case is.”
Actual hell if I know. But I do know that they cost circa 5K to replace. HAHAHAHAHA. ha. ha. ha. PS, for those of you who didn’t grow up with brothers or an affinity for cars, a transfer case lives inside your car and then dies for no reason and costs a lot for no reason. You’re welcome.
“I’m 25, I should be able to afford this”
I’ve held a stable full-time job for a number of years now, if only a small number, I should have this money in my savings, I should be able to cover this, if not own a credit card that can has a limit that can cover this, I’m 25. This is 25.
“I’m 25, I should know how to take out a loan.”
wut??? Like a bank loan??? this is so retro???? non-university-related loans are so vintage chic??????? so “it’s a wonderful life”????? what is taking a loan from a bank what is that. when and why are people aged 22-24 taking out bank loans i need to know.
“I’m 25, I should have an actual skincare nighttime routine”
changing gears now.
But really, like leave a comment bc I want to know what you do. HOW OLD ARE YOU AND WHAT IS YOUR NIGHTLY SKINCARE ROUTINE??????????
I’m not saying I’m easily influenced, I’m just saying one of my favorite bloggers posted her routine recently and I bought it that very day.
Fancy TULA don’t let me down.
I’m 25, I’m an adult, I use face serum now.
“I’m 25, I should know literally everything there is to know ever about the JKF assassination and all of JFK’s siblings”
The other day my friends were talking about “the JFK sister who had the lobotomy” like it was the most widely known fact in the world, like it was the latest cover of US Magazine, like Becca Tilley had just posted an Instagram #ad about it.
I KNOW NOTHING OF JFK’S SIBLINGS OR THEIR LIVES AND DEATHS AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC, I NEED TO GO RE-READ EVERYTHING I THINK I KNOW ABOUT HIS ASSASSINATION.
Rly tho I’ve listened to a podcast and watched a documentary about him, all in the past week. I don’t need a hobby.
Rly tho, why aren’t we all talking about Rosemary more. Her own family ruined her life. I’m mad. I’m starting a petition. I’m launching a kick start fund. I’m changing my name and gender and race okay I’m done now.
“I’m 25, I should know how El Niño has affected and still is affecting the environment”
EL NIÑO IS WEATHER. DID YOU KNOW THAT. SOMETHING TO DO WITH UNPREDICTABLE WINDS AND CHAOS. SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE 90’S AND CHRIS FARLEY SKITS. DO YOU FEEL CULTURED NOW. YOU’RE WELCOME.
I HAVE A COLLEGE DEGREE bye.
(No but really what’s your skincare routine??? like leave a comment. tweet me. anything.)
[Images: modernnotion.com, http://tula.com/product/balanced-beauty-gift-set/, http://twitchy.com/