A Green Juice Recipe That Doesn’t Taste Like A Trash Can You’re Welcome

The green juice that you’ll actually want to drink after taking a photo.

A common conversation between Lane and I:

Me: I’m going to start doing [insert healthy habit] because it releases my cortisol hormones that have been stored up for years and I really want to focus on lowering my cortisol. 

Lane: Cortisol, eh? And what Instagram health influencer did we learn that from today?

Me: SHE’S A DOCTOR INFLUENCER, LANE, A DOCTOR. 

Enter: Dr. Mona Vand, the queen of wellness. I’ve watched basically all her YouTube videos, dabbled in guided meditation, and learned so much about skincare because of her. I once joined one of her live streams. She is my primary care physician now.

But the most important thing I’ve learned from her is how to make green juice.

me

Y’all. I drink this weekly. I either double the recipe, or I quadruple it, depending on how desperate I am for greens that particular week. I have been very annoying about it telling everyone I know, as if I make some commission off of it, like it’s a multi-level marketing structure. I do not know why I’m like this help me.

I’m so convinced of this recipe that I brought it to my office’s weekly potluck breakfast. A place usually filled with donuts and kolaches. So yes, everyone hates me. BUT GUESS WHAT: THEY DRANK THE WHOLE THING.

Just last week, two people asked me for the recipe, which is like a million people, and reason enough to blog it.

The only negative feedback I’ve received was that it’s a lil bit ~thick~ like it’s not an actual “juice” technically. So if this sounds like you, maybe add less spinach, more coconut water, and run it through a fine colander.

LEFT SIDE: MINE. RIGHT SIDE: LANE’S. Notice how sparkling green and chic one of them is.

So here it is. The only green juice recipe you need, by Dr. Mona Vand. 

Ingredients:

• 3-6 cups spinach
• 1 cup coconut water
• 1 tablespoon ginger (or more! be tru 2 u!)
• 1 lemon’s juice
• 1 apple
• 1 banana

I also like to add parsley if I have it. Go wild!

Instructions:

1. Blend spinach and coconut water thoroughly, before adding any other ingredients. WOW THIS IS A CRUCIAL STEP, DON’T MESS THIS UP, NO PRESSURE.
2. Add everything else.
3. Pour into mason jar if ur into that sort of thing.

Why I like it:

• It *actually* tastes good. It’s not just a healthy drink that you will want to drink because it’s good for you. I enjoy drinking it. I crave it. I am excited to drink it. WHY DOES IT TASTE GOOD? I’ve thought about this extensively and I’ve concluded there are two reasons: 1) because it has a singular taste profile with few, powerful ingredients and 2) coconut water is sweet lol.
• It doesn’t mess around with greens. At the risk of sounding like the green juice snob that I am, I literally guffaw out loud (GOL) when I see people making smoothies or juices on Instagram with “half a cup” of spinach. Like HALF A CUP? What are we doing here? What’s the point? Why are we gathered here today? Don’t bother me with cleaning the Ninja if it’s only HALF A CUP. This green juice is 3 cups spinach for every half cup coconut water so please have respeck.
• It’s a pretty color. Lane makes his own green juice on a weekly basis, and can I just say, with all do respect, until death do us part, it’s ugly and I hate it. His is brownish orangey and mine is a beautiful, pure GREEN. It is so chic. So On Brand. So great for ur IG aesthetic/flow, I’m sorry for saying that.
• It’s easy to make. If you know me, you know me, and you know I love being healthy, but I love being lazy even more lol. I will not do something if it even slightly inconveniences me lol help. This juice is only a few, easy ingredients, with only a few, easy instructions, and I can easily whip it up before work.
• It makes me feel chic. I put it in a mason jar with a pink, re-usable straw like my name is Ivanka.

i hope this makes U feel like the chic LA bich that U R