Whole30 Recap: I Lasted 23 Days And Ate Pizza As A Snack Yesterday

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and it’s called whole23.

sound the alarms it’s over im done

I reviewed days 1 – 9 a couple weeks ago. Here’s the rest of the whole.

Day 10: Konfused at Korean BBQ Restaurant

On Day 10, I agreed to join some friends out for some Korean BBQ. Seems innocent enough, it’s like raw meat you cook yourself at the table, with other sauces and sides. INNOCENT. Except for I ate forbidden sauces and felt like a sumo wrestler leaving the restaurant.

It’s so much easier just to avoid restaurants while doing the whole life.

Day 11: The Day I Literally Attended A Birthday Brunch, Bachelorette, And Going Away Party All In The Same Day

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Saturday, Day 11, 2018, Never Forget. Where is my Nobel Peace Prize. There was clearly every opportunity to give into mimosas or lard on this day and I miraculously followed the plan. I just got so used to being like, “Sorry. Can’t.” And just didn’t. And you know what? No one cared. Using social events as an excuse to not stick to a plan is silly because it only affects you. People may ask why you aren’t drinking, but I found that people were largely supportive. And largely didn’t care. It was largely refreshing.

Day 12: I Feel V Good, Sobriety Is Wild

I COULD GET USED TO THIS LIFE OF ZERO HANGOVERS. Not to sound like an alcoholic, but as you can see, social engagements tend to take over the weekends, and it can greatly impact health and productivity. 12 days sober. Good for me.

However, my amazing sleeping streak broke. Was it because I watched 2 hours of Mad Men before bed? Was it because I stared at my phone too long before bed? Anything is possible.

Day 13: What Is Working Out

Day 13 was a Monday and I miraculously made it to a Soul Cycle class. It was one of the only times I worked out. It was like I finally got the hang of balancing working out while also cooking 89 hours a week and then it ended.

Day 14: Is This Tiger Blood Or Coffee Energy, A Memoir

I had high energy around Day 14 which is exactly what the book said would happen. But really. I felt SO productive during the work day. Just very mentally motivated, alert, and on task, to the point where I could feel myself being very annoying.

It was also on Day 14 that I experimented with a new recipe. With flax meal and chicken breasts, I invented a Whole30 “friend chicken” recipe, which I dipped in a homemade mayo. I don’t even like actual mayo. START WHOLE30 TO FEEL SKINNY, STAY FOR THE MAYO.

Day 15: idk

Day 16: The Night Strangers Invited Me Into Their Home And Cooked Me Dinner, So I Ate Enchiladas And A Brownie

There are few things that could make me cheat on Whole30, BUT AVOIDING ASKING A STRANGER TO COOK ME A SPECIAL MEAL FOR MY DIETARY RESTRICTIONS IS ONE OF THEM. I could not bring my self to do it. Could not.

Surprisingly, I did not experience any weird headaches or repercussions. How fascinating is this blog post.

Day 17:  Cinco De Hell

I went to an team lunch outing and stayed on plan. I went to my office’s Cuatro De Mayo party and stayed on plan. I DRANK A SPARKLING WATER AND RUINED THE PLAN. Yes, after utilizing whatever self discipline I had to say no to queso and alcohol all day, I drank what thought would be an innocent sparking pink lemonade from the freestyle machine. But it must have had aspartame or an evil factory-made ingredient because I got a headache IMMEDIATELY. Immediately. It was immediate. It was horrid.

That day after work I met Lane at a bar, where I ordered salad and water. He ordered wings, which are my truest weakness, so I Googled if Wings are Whole30.

FACT: WINGS ARE ALLOWED ON WHOLE30. Well, technically, they use a seed oil that’s not Whole30. But the book acknowledges it can be impossible to avoid forbidden oils at restaurants. The book is weirdly vague about rules at restaurants. Idk yall.

Day 18: The Day I Saw I Feel Pretty And Actually I Want To Gain 15 Pounds Now

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I snuck in almond butter and berries into the theatre while Lane ate popcorn. This is whole life. Also that day I ate a Torchy’s salad while Lane ate the tacos. That was honest to God one of the hardest moments of my entire life. I love nothing more than Torchy’s.

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when ur trying to eat healthy at torchy’s

srsly tho I Feel Pretty most important film of the year

Day 19: I Don’t Remember

Day 20: Everyone Has Done Whole30 A Thousand Times

The more I posted about Whole30, the more people DM’d me that they had done it, many of them more than once. O, where was ur blog??? Where were ur posts????????? I don’t remember that, weird??

Days 21-23: Ok I can explain

Things started to get very tricky Day 21-23. On Day 21, Lane and I went to dinner with a good friend who is moving out of state soon. It was a very special dinner! I really felt bad and weird not having a drink to commemorate the moment. It was the MOST I had ever wanted to drink during the plan. Seriously I can’t believe I didn’t give in tbh.

Then there was day 22. The day Lane left the house to get us Chipotle and by the time he came back, I was in the pool with wine.

IT’S HARD.

I could blame the wine on a bad work day. But I really think my attitude was just whittled down to a toothpick by day 22. I did not have it in me to resist another urge. And really, the only thing I desperately missed during the plan was red wine after work. Not an alcoholic, just addicted to alcohol.

The plan was to drink wine that night, just give in, but not exactly give up, and then finish out the plan. I ate a Whole30 approved Chipotle dinner that night and everything.

THEN THERE WAS DAY 23.

And it was a Thursday. And we had plans to meet another couple at Desperado’s, and I could have stayed on the plan if I had the will power, but I am here to say I did not have the will power, and that is why day 23 was the final day.

I WISH I HAD FINISHED OUT WHOLE30 BC I’D FEEL A LOT SKINNIER RN AND WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO CANCEL MY RE-INTRODUCTION TO ALCOHOL PARTY.

These were the FAQs people asked while I was on the plan

What’s a legume?

It’s astonishing how much people know about global news and politics but not basic food groups. FREAKING BEANS AND CHICKPEAS YALL.

But you already eat healthy, what’s the difference?

I see what you see, but no. My diet primarily consisted of yogurt, halo top, granola bars, quinoa, hummus, beans, cheese, Think Thin bar sugar alcohols, coffee creamer, and stevia. NONE OF WHICH ARE WHOLE30 APPROVED. I can’t even explain how different the diet is and how different you feel on it.

Did Lane do Whole30 with you?

No. That man loves his legumes and grains. But he would eat anything I cooked.

Did you lose weight? 

I think like 5 pounds. So, no.

What improved the most? 

SLEEP. Even this week, being fully off the plan, I can see a huge decline in my sleep quality — which was honestly my “normal” sleep quality PRE-30. I actually miss Whole30  mostly for the energy and sleep and just feeling skinny. I truly feel like a different, lesser than version of myself now that I’m back to my normal patterns.

Would you recommend or do it again? 

I have not stopped recommending Whole30 since Day 1. I fully want to do it again. And also just eat Whole30 as my core 80% and enjoy red wines or chocolate or whatever. THAT 20% LIFE. WHOLE BALANCE.

Did any food group affect you negatively when you incorporated it back?

Ok we’ve officially gotten into the portion of the FAQs that actually no one has asked me.

Aspartame is the only ingredient that had severe impacts. Dairy, legumes, grains… I’m not sensitive to them.

OKAY so that’s my whole life story.

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