A Guide To Gaining 100 Newlywed Pounds Without Your Husband Noticing

Beer-wedding-couple-450x363

Why I’m never drinking beer again, what I wish I’d known before getting addicted to Soul Cycle, how I work out at lunch without looking like I’ve been hit by a car afterwards, and my weekly work out routine. WOO FIT-NESS!

Anyone who has read itsfineimfine.com for a while knows that my favorite hobby is half-assing diet and fitness aspirations.

I’ve done the Buda Juice one day cleanse a couple times. One time I was a vegan for a few hours. I blogged about the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide program twice in 2016, when I first started half-assing her work outs, and then again in my sixth week into the program. I even gave up alcohol almost one whole weekend once.

bbg

Here is the BBG guide you can buy on Amazon if you’re interested in purchasing, I can’t recommend it enough.

AND IM NOT SURE IF YALL ARE AWARE OR NOT but I literally gave up wine for lent this year and all I want is worldwide recognition and praise for it. It was awful. You read that correctly, I only gave up wine, all other alcohol was allowed. But it was still very hard as wine is 83% of my standard liquid intake. So for 40 days and 40 nights, I turned to beer, moscow mules, vodka sprites — or just didn’t drink at all, because that’s how much I’d rather have a grigio or noir.

Let me tell you, SIPPING A BEER AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK IS NOT THE SAME, FAM, NOT THE SAME. Not the same experience, nor the same affect on the body. Beer is the reason for this blog title — it seriously feels like I’ve turned into a stuffed animal since switching to beer. Just out here trying to get back to my WiNe WeiGhT, ya kno. Never drinking beer again.

So as you can see, I’m clearly very qualified to continue the topic of fitness.

I got into Soul Cycle around last July. Later in the year, my office moved into a new building with a great gym and I have mastered the art of lunch work outs.

SO LET’S DIVE INTO BOTH. I wish this blog post was funny, so sorry.

Here’s What I Wish I’d Known Before Getting Addicted to Soul Cycle

How To Gain 100 Newlywed Pounds Without Your Husband Noticing, A Guide | It's Fine I'm Fine blog

  1. You are literally going to hate your first class.
  2. Take a Soul 101 class. I waited too long to do this and it dramatically improved my classes afterwards.
  3. When in doubt, setup your seat lower and further from the handles. NOTHING MORE UNCOMFY THAN FIGURING OUT YOUR SEAT’S TOO TALL FOR THE CHOREO.
  4. Don’t forget to grab a seat cushion. And then lower your seat an inch to accommodate it.
  5. Bring a bottle of water, or forget it every time and pay for a new bottle every time like me!!!!:):) 🙂
  6. They provide shoes but you have to pay to rent them. I think it’s like $3. You’d think I would have bought a pair by now, but the shoes are about $150 to buy, and you know, I just haven’t.
  7. Soul Cycle can be intimidating but it shouldn’t be, because like any other fitness class, everyone there is too overly focused on themselves to notice you.
  8. People of all shape, sizes, ages, genders, colors, and legging brands attend Soul. Don’t feel like you’re  too straight male, too Old Navy, or too anything to attend.
  9. You might cry. Not saying I’ve cried in Soul Cycle before, but I did cry once. Not because it’s physically hard (ALTHOUGH IT IS), but because some instructors apparently double as counselors/therapists/pastors and often give little motivational speeches and ask questions that force you to look deep into your mind, heart, and dare I say soul.
  10. The lights are out and the volume is up, and if you don’t like that you’re wrong. It’s like what they’re known for. It makes it a “party”. There’s lots of WOO’S. My favorite part is when the class is its darkest and loudest at the end and you just ride it out for a few minutes with no instructions. Seriously the best stress reliever ever. Other than ruining your body with food and alcohol, but 2nd best stress reliever ever.
  11. Classes vary greatly among different instructors because they all bring their own teaching style, level of difficulty, and taste of music. One of my favorite instructors just moved to New York and yes it’s taken an emotional toll on me, thank you.
  12. The instructor WILL say your name and call you out as a new rider in your first class and you’ll be fine.
  13. Yes, you lose your money if you cancel. I forget what the cut off is, you can call them and ask, welcome to my blog.
  14. Soul Cycle does not do any paid advertisements including blog sponsorships (ASK ME HOW I KNOW), and they solely rely on organic word of mouth and social media which is chic. So yeah, this is not sponsored.
  15. Do NOT do any form of strength work out the days leading up to a class. You will die, ask me how I know. Important to not be sore.

Soul Cycle is $30 a class, which is A LOT of happy hour margs. HOWEVER………

For me, it’s so worth what I get out of it both mentally and physically. It’s also the ONLY health related/fitness thing I invest in.

Things I don’t do that help me justify my Soul Cycle habit:

  1. Pay for an expensive gym membership
  2. Buy other work out or diet programs (BBG was sent to me, free)
  3. Buy fancy pre/post/during/idk work out powders or supplements
  4. Participate in 5Ks or any races
  5. Spend a lot on athliesure (I love Lululemon, let’s be real, but I get it from my mom and sister on Christmases and Birthdays).
  6. Buy cocaine (#justifying)

Ppl always be like, “u should try this other, cheaper spin class” and it’s like, no I don’t like spin classes, I like soul cycle. I don’t like dogs, I like pugs. Why is this so hard, I don’t get it.

Also, hate to lay this truth on you, but if you skip eating lunch out just TWO days a week (assuming you’re not eating fast food lol), then you can afford a weekly Soul class. Because we live in Dallas and it can be v hard to not spend $15 when dining out. And not to brag, but I pack a very sad, healthy lunch literally every day to work.

Which brings me to sad, healthy lunch work outs.

I am convinced that people who accomplish a work out before 7am are clinically insane. I’m physically and emotionally incapable of morning exercise, which makes me the most normal person ever.

Fitting a lunch work out into a one hour window is surprisingly doable.

Sweaty Betty is now at NORDSTROM.

Here’s How I Work Out During Lunch And Not Come Back To Work Looking Like I’ve Been Hit By A Car

  • Stick to a short work out at 30 minutes tops. I find that I work out harder than I typically would without a hard stop.
  • ALWAYS SHOWER AFTERWARDS.
  • Always bring shower flip flops.
  • My gym provides good towels but if yours doesn’t, get one of those super thin gym towels that easily fit in a bag. Like this one.
  • I’ve mastered the dry shampoo + blow dryer trick. You would literally never know by looking at me that I worked out, it’s amazing what women can hide with dry shampoo and some self discipline. I’m sure there is a tutorial somewhere out there for you to master it too, I don’t have a link or tutorial for you, welcome to my blog.

I typically work out during lunch 2 times during the week, sometimes I can do 3 times, but that’s rare, because I am very very busy and important.

My weekly work out routine

Monday

Lunch hour: Run 3 miles in 30 minutes

After work: Soul Cycle

Tuesday

Lunch hour: Run 3 miles in 30 mins

After work: Sometimes another Soul Cycle (hip hop night in uptown ya heard)

Wednesday

Lunch hour or after work: Rest day OR a BBG if I’m feeling motivated

(I try to do at least 1 BBG work out a week and it’s usually total body or legs.)

Thursday

Lunch hour or after work: Rest day (if I did BBG day before) OR BBG (if I rested day before) OR 3 mile run if I don’t feel like doing a BBG

(If I work out after work, I will tack on 30 push ups or some jump lunges to a run, with a good stretch. No time for that during lunch work outs tho.)

Friday

Lunch hour: Rest OR run 3-4 miles in 30-40 minutes just depending on mood

Saturday

Long run with Lane (5-6 miles) OR a pilates class (I love Session on Fitzhugh) OR a BBG.

(Weekends are a crapshoot. Depending on what I did Wednesday – Friday, I may not work out at all).

Sunday

I almost never work out on Sundays, but every now and then Lane and I will do a short run together.

If this seems very strict and intense written out, just know that I am the least strict and most unstructured human you will ever meet. Mondays and Tuesdays are aggressive because my weekends are usually aggressive. I mostly just work out according to my mood (see: 3 options for rest days), and honestly sometimes my mood is just walking on the treadmill listening to Hamilton for 30 minutes and I am not sorry.

Like last week I could not motivate myself to work out except for 2 days so that’s all I did. Then this week I had a sore throat and it was my birthday so I only did Monday work outs and that IS IT.

People who stick to work out plans are also clinically insane.

I basically just aim for 1-2 soul classes early in the week, BBG mid week, and just run whenever I can. Mama always loves a good run.

THAT IS LITERALLY ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT HEALTH AND WORKING OUT, IS ANYONE STILL READING.

Here are some good reads about what other bloggers have to say on the subject.

Dani Austin’s 5 HEALTHY & EASY SNACKS FOR SPRING

Katey McFarlan’s 3-day Food Diary

Krystal Shlegel’s Food Diary & Printable Run Schedule

Gwen Hefner’s Food Diary

See, I really do support local (and other random Missouri) bloggers.

I enjoyed these. Mostly because my greatest guilty pleasure is other people’s eating and exercise diaries/habits, I think that is normal????????? Pls write out ur food diary in the comments thanks????????????????

P.S., to whom it may concern, Sweaty Betty is now available at Nordstrom.

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Sweaty Betty is now at NORDSTROM.

image creds:
https://www.kegworks.com/blog/sam-adams-celebrates-marriage-with-brewlywed-ale/

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