I Survived The Flu, But Not The Saks Off Fifth Woman Asking Me If I’ve Tried Target

Pregnancy tales: surviving the flu, maternity jeans, nightmares!

Reactions to flu

Reactions to my pregnancy-related topics can be bucketed into 3 categories: from moms or those who want to get pregnant soon (WTGPS), from non-moms or those with zero desire to get pregnant soon (ZDTGPS), and then just “men.”

People’s reactions to having the flu at 21 weeks pregnant have been no different.

“Oh no, I’m sorry, get better!” – ZDTGPS.

“I AM SO, SO SORRY. I know you can’t take any medication so it’s even worse. I hope the worst is over for you. Hang in there!!! REST!!!! You MUST take care of yourself, even when you think you feel better, just stay home and REST!!! It’s the only way you will get better!!” – WTGPS, coupled with stories of when they were once pregnant with the flu, or worse, got the flu in their postpartum recovery state.

You most likely already know a mom from a non-mom, but when you’re pregnant, the ZDTGPS are just as distinct from the WTGPS based on general interest and reactions to your preg tales.

AND I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. I was in the ZDTGPS club for years, and I was the same.

Timeline of getting the flu and not getting Tamiflu

NOVEMBER:  I got a flu shot. Apparently you can still get the flu after the flu shot, but supposedly it won’t be as bad.

DECEMBER, FRIDAY, DAY 1: Arrived at work, and let the boss know I would have to leave early because I didn’t feel well. Boss plus a few other coworkers reported feeling the same. Early signs that the nation is infected, consumption has spread. Welcome to 1600s England.

SATURDAY, DAY 2: Symptoms significantly worsened. I would wake up in the middle of the night with coughing fits so bad I threw up. I woke up around 4am feeling feverish, but Lane couldn’t find the thermometer so he had to drive to Walgreens to get one.

I had a 99 fever.

SUNDAY, DAY 3: Symptoms continue.

MONDAY MORNING, DAY 4: I had lost 2 pounds from Friday to Monday. VERY BAD AS A PREGNANT PERSON WHO IS ON SCHEDULE TO GAIN A POUND A WEEK. I called my OB the second they opened, describing all symptoms, and amazingly they were zero concerned. Insisted I was only congested.

MONDAY AFTERNOON: I was pretty sure it was worse, and my sister convinced me I had bronchitus, so I called the OB back to tell them this. They assured me a nurse would call me back.

BUT THAT CALL NEVER CAME.

So I finally went to Urgent Care, where I felt light-headed while standing at the receptionist for longer than 2 minutes. Also where the nurse jabbed two very long Q-TIPS up my nose. Truly the worst thing that’s happened to me in a while.

The Urgent Care doctor confirmed I had been swabbed and tested positive for flu. I said, r u sure it’s not bronchitus tho. 

It wa too late for Tamiflu, and I wasn’t able to take any other drugs. And he wasn’t able to check baby’s heartbeat. No one tells you how much anxiety goes into needing to be re-assured about baby’s heartbeat throughout the whole pregnancy. 

And finally, he asked me to put on a surgical mask before entering the lobby! Super chic!

TUESDAY, DAY 5: I called my OB and let them know that I indeed had the flu 🙂 they still didn’t need to see me 🙂

And I worked from home all week except most of Wednesday, and I truly believe working made me heal slower. stg. It’s so hard being the most important person in Dallas.

WEDNESDAY, DAY 6: By Day 6 I had become a full blown licensed witch doctor.

Liquids I was consuming daily included:

• Hot water with honey an dlemon
• Cold water with Elderberry syrup
• Pedialyte
• Bone Broth
• Some Gatorade (but not a lot bc wow that is sugary)
• SO MUCH WATER

I also ate an orange a day for the vitamin C, and rounded it out with Shake Shack and Sonic Frito Pie wraps, because for the actual first time in my life, I’m trying to not lose weight.

THURSDAY, DAY 7: I started feeling somewhat human on Thursday, the day of my department’s all day Christmas Party. But I had to miss it, I was still too delicate for the real world. And I am an Enneagram type 7, so ask me anything about dying of FOMO, it’s a real thing 🙂

The only positive part of my week was being with Cookies 24/7. She is such a goo gul. I don’t know how I’ll love a child as much as I love Cookies Janelle Rizzardini.

WORDS OF WISDOM TO THOSE CURRENTLY PREGNANT OR WTGPS

Just go to Urgent Care. I waited way too long because I was certain that I did NOT have the flu, and was certain only my OB could see me and diagnose me, in ~my delicate condition~. They really don’t need to see you unless you’re cramping, bleeding, have a 100.3 fever, on fire, or in actual labor. So just go to Urgent Care STAT and get that Tamiflu STATASAPTODAY.

Yes, I’ve Tried Target

I finally bought maternity pants over the weekend. Target. Love them. But the pretentious side of me wanted a nice pair of premium mat denim, so sue me. And like you do, I went to Nordstrom Rack and Saks Off Fifth. Neither place carries maternity clothes. I’m not sure why I’m shocked but I am???? I just assumed it’s 2019 and everywhere carries mat clothes????

The woman at Saks Off Fifth actually said to me, I’m dead serious, verbatim, “Have you tried Target?” Like, yes. I am a white girl. What do you mean have I tried Target. So ask me anything about being Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

Having a lot of baby dreams, and I forget that I’m a mom in all of them

And in every single dream, something is going terribly wrong. Exactly how wedding dreams would go while being engaged.

To summarize, I’ve dreamt:

• That I forgot I had a baby, went to work, went about my day. Then remembered, oh yeah I have a newborn, then couldn’t find her. Looked everywhere. Baby girl was in her crib.
• That I forgot I was having a baby in the month of April. I was sitting at my desk at work, when someone handed me my baby, and I was like, oh yeah, I’m due this month. But I didn’t know how much it weighed because I wasn’t there for the birth. I MISSED MY OWN BABY’S BIRTH.
• Lane and I were on our bed with 4 baby girls. I couldn’t remember their names. I kept asking Lane, “Which one is this? Who is that one?”
• I just can’t remember the fourth dream, but it wasn’t positive.

In all four dreams, it’s been a girl. So therefore, I fully expect to have a boy this April.